As we have become more disconnected from one another, social technology initially promised to make connecting easier and to give people a new opportunity to use their voice. It was an innovative way to fill the gaps, but I believe we find ourselves on the precipice of backfire.
This week, we learned that Meta, the parent company behind Facebook, Instagram and Threads, will discontinue fact-checking and hand that over to its community of users—just like the X platform did when Elon Musk took it over. Additionally, the company lifted all restrictions on topics like sexual identity, gender identity, immigration and politics. It’s Trust & Safety and Content Moderation Teams are purposefully being moved from California to Texas.
If that wasn’t enough, Meta’s VP of Product for Generative AI, Connor Hayes recently told the Financial Times that “Meta envisions user-created AI characters eventually living alongside regular accounts… to make its apps “more entertaining and engaging.” This was after Meta itself created AI-generated influencer accounts back in 2023—an experiment that was met with backlash from users, forcing the company to delete the profiles.
A Digital Crossroads
All of this to say, we have arrived at a choice point. We can choose to engage in ways that feel nourishing or we can continue to deplete ourselves in exchange for dopamine crumbs (sometimes from robots).
As social media becomes less and less reliable as a source of news, content is no longer moderated for safety (from hate speech, bullying, harassment, impersonation, etc.), and platforms are flooded with fake ads, scammy products, and AI chatbots posing at humans, we can opt out.
Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok and others need us to feed their algorithmic machines. If we can break away from our screens long enough to zoom out and see the truth of how these technologies have impacted our mental health, that alone would be enough to call it quits or decide to engage in a more conscious way.
Last year I deleted my (mostly inactive) Facebook account. I’ve decided to experiment with a LinkedIn-free 2025. And I’ll use Instagram primarily to post new Substack pieces and a few sweet photos of my fiancée and our puppy. That not only frees up time to write more often—which also brings me joy in the process—but think of how regulated my nervous system can remain if I’m not bombarded daily with content that depletes my energy. This is part of my own broader intention to thrive (not merely survive) the next four years.
I do appreciate the original mission of social tech, but are we not actually moving forward as it relates to connection. These platforms make it all too easy for hurt people to hurt people, and the changes that Meta is making, in particular, are the opposite of trauma-informed.
The Hidden Cost of "Free" Platforms
The reality is that these "free" platforms extract a hefty price: our attention, our data, and increasingly, our peace of mind. The average person spends over two hours daily on social media, time that could be invested in face-to-face connection, creative pursuits, or simply resting or being present.
The platforms' business models rely on keeping us in consumption mode—scrolling, sharing, engaging and buying—regardless of the content's quality or impact on our wellbeing.
Perhaps most concerning is how these platforms have rewired our expectations of human interaction. We've grown accustomed to curated highlights, instant responses, and surface-level exchanges. The dopamine-driven feedback loop has created a generation that struggles with delayed gratification, the natural ebb and flow of authentic relationships, and healthy conflict resolution. As we count our likes and followers, we're simultaneously discounting the irreplaceable value of unfiltered, imperfect, real-world connection.
Reimagining Digital Connection
There are alternatives to social media that prioritize genuine connection over engagement metrics. Small, purpose-driven communities and intimate digital spaces are gaining traction. These platforms often operate on subscription models rather than advertising, allowing them to prioritize user wellbeing over advertiser demands. While they may not offer the dopamine hits of mainstream social media, they provide something more valuable: meaningful interaction and controlled exposure to content that enriches rather than extracts from us.
Now, these emerging alternatives also tend to foster more thoughtful discourse and genuine vulnerability. Without the pressure to perform for a massive audience or chase viral moments, users can share more authentically and engage in nuanced conversations. Communities built around shared interests, professional growth, or creative interests naturally filter out the noise that plagues mainstream platforms.
This shift from quantity to quality of connection marks a return to what social technology originally promised: meaningful digital spaces that enhance rather than replace our real-world relationships.
A Call for Conscious Digital Citizenship
The solution isn't necessarily complete digital abstinence for everyone—it can be mindful engagement. We can choose to be conscious digital citizens by:
Setting clear boundaries around our social media usage;
Supporting platforms and communities that align with our values, and deleting our accounts from those that don’t;
Creating content that adds value to the lives of others (if we are content creators);
Prioritizing real-world connections (while using digital tools to enhance, not replace, them)
The real power lies here, in our collective choices. As more users opt out of platforms that prioritize profit over safety and wellbeing, companies will be forced to recognize that they need to reconsider their approaches. Until then, we have the agency to engage with technology on our own terms and create our own real-world sanctuaries.
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